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Michelle shouted back at her husband, “we no longer talk about money, that’s why our marriage is falling apart.”
Hey, talking about money is an integral part of any couple’s long-term success. Sharing conversations about money will ensure that you are creating a joint vision and are both on the same page. Such discussions suggest whether you can pursue your shared and individual goals in life. Additionally, by talking about money on a regular basis, healthily, and productively, you will avoid many problems as well as ensure your financial futures together.
One of the things Michelle first noticed as she and her husband moved from the financial cellar to financial stability and, eventually, wealth was how the conversations in their lives changed. Particularly, the conversations they had with friends, colleagues, and total strangers. A new topic developed that they had never chatted about with their family. That topic was money.
When she and Jeremy were in debt and living in a 4-room mobile home, the subject of money never came up at parties, work get-togethers, or family events. It was taboo to talk about legal tender unless you were discussing a decrease in income or how Uncle Sam managed to cut you out of more cash.
However, as their financial situation became stronger and they started investing in their savings account, a whole new world opened for them. They began enjoying more conversations about money with everyone that was not their family and friends. Surely, it was the weirdest thing.
2 to 5 or 45?
Michelle recalls one conversation that stands out from the rest. She was in the break room at work finishing off a bagel and cup of coffee when her co-worker popped in and sat down next to her. He was a gentleman of 56 years of age. After exchanging pleasantries, he hit her with a bombshell. “I’m going to retire next month.”
Michelle responded with a blank stare and a, ‘You’re WHAT?’ He repeated his reply and then he said he had noticed how she never ate lunch in the cafeteria and that she always brought her own coffee in a thermos to work. He asked Michelle what her retirement plans were. She was 25 years of age at the time.
Michelle laughed and said that she figured it would take Jeremy and her another 40 years or so before they could retire. He then looked her straight in the eye and said, “What is your plan? 2 to 5 or 45? Both of you can do it faster than that if you want to.” He then outlined for Michelle a 15-year plan that he and his wife had used to get them to a financially secure spot to leave the workforce for good.
Michelle was stunned. No one had ever talked to her about money like that. What she came to realize was this, wealthy people talk about money, but the middle class and others do not unless it is a negative view of money.
Conversations About Money
What does this mean for you? Simply this. Start acting like the wealthy and initiate conversations about money with people who can help you. When was the last time you discussed money with that rich Aunty of yours that didn’t relate to a loan?
Start asking people who have money, for advice on how to handle it and work with it. Don’t get personal about their finances or ask for details, but talk to them about what their advice would be. If you are like Michelle, her family rarely had a savings account. Therefore, the first time she had $5,000 in an account, she panicked because she knew she HAD to do something with it.
But she had no idea WHAT to do with it. As far as she was concerned, having a strategy for investing money was like shooting a rocket to the moon. She did not know the first thing about it!
Let’s Talk About Money
Couples and money matters are indispensable. When you get married, your finances are one of many things that go from a “you and me” to a “we.” Your relationship will be influenced by your possessions, financial obligations, and money management techniques. Even if money does not come up right away during your honeymoon stage, it will. Guaranteed.
Here are several reasons why couples should talk about money:
To Develop a Shared Vision
You may have very different ideas about what constitutes success. Stop dodging these conversations or you will never know if the reason you have problems with your spouse is due to huge differences in your goals. For example, for one of you, home ownership might be an important way you define success. The other partner may prefer to rent, due to not wanting maintenance responsibilities or some other reason.
You will never know if you do not talk about it. When you find out that you have different ideas, you can try to forge a middle path that can help you both. For example, instead of buying a house, you may choose to buy a condo to cut down on some of the maintenance concerns.
To Ensure You’re on The Same Page
If you want to make sure you are both on the same page about a goal, it is wise to talk about money. Even if you do not want the same things, understanding why it’s important to the other spouse can go far in helping make it something you are concerned with too.
To Pursue Common Goals in Life
Shared life goals are an important part of marriage. Saving for the future so that you can travel, or check things off your bucket list is a wonderful way to plan your finances. It gives you both something to work for and plan for in the future.
To Achieve Personal Objectives
Even though you put your incomes together you each likely have your own individual goals in life. For example, maybe one of you wants to go to graduate school, or become an online coach; discussing this through finances is a good way to ensure that all your goals can be met together.
To Avoid Problems
If you never talk about money, twenty years can go by without either of you paying attention. You may wind up with no savings, and no future. This is not a good thing. While you can ensure that you save enough with a plan, going about things without a plan is only asking for problems.
To Safeguard Their Future Finances
Nothing is going to happen without you and your spouse doing something actively to put money in savings, and investments, and keep your debt low. If you are both on the same page, and discuss and make plans together, it is more likely to happen the way you envision it.
Related Article: Money Do’s And Don’ts For Financial Freedom
Create A Wealthy Mentality
When couples talk about money, it does not have to be hard. Money is only one part of your life together, but it is what is going to help you meet your goals and live a happy life. Talking about it and setting yourself up for success will simply remove the stress that does not even need to exist, and ensure your future is bright.
So, initiate conversations with reputable financial professionals and talk with wealthy family members. However, if no one in your family is wealthy then set up an appointment with a wealthy person in your town. The one everyone knows and ask them what their advice would be to someone who is just starting out.
Michelle did this very thing when she was 29 years of age. She called up a gentleman who was worth 37 million dollars. She requested a 30-minute appointment and offered to pay him his consultant rate. He was charging $400 an hour.
Dear friend, the best way to obtain a wealthy mentality is to start forming strategies and goals for what to do with the money that you are saving. If you have no clue about what to do with money, like Michelle, then chat with folks who obviously invest and discuss smart strategies with them.
Related Article: 3 Money Conversations You And Your Partner Need To Have
